I love reading all of your stories about your LDR challanges and successes, so I thought that I’d would share my own. If you have questions or want advice please feel free to ask me at wildfire2091.tumblr.com/ask
Blake and I met in Theatre Design in high school during the summer when I was almost a Junior and he was an incoming Freshmen. We weren’t real close at first but we grew closer, sharing our first kiss and started dating and a relationship about a year later. That was 4 years ago today. In the time that has passed we have definitely had our ups and downs. Our personalities are very different and we always balanced out the others bullshit. We had enough in common that it brought us together, but were still different enough that it made it interesting, although I have to admit that as we progress we have less and less in common. But we still love each other more than is probably healthy at our age.
Our first year was pretty easy as far as high school relationships can be. We spent a lot of time in the theatre together, seeing as the majority of our free time was devoted there anyway. We didn’t fight hardly at all, because high school relationship drama is almost always a result of lies or jealousy, neither of which were an issue for us. We sailed smoothly through the end of my high school career, including prom and my graduation.
The next 2 years brought a few new challenges. I had a different schedule as I started at a local community college, trying to decide what I wanted to do for a career, yet he was just starting his Junior year of high school. We could only spend our time together in the evenings. I had also started a part time job which grew into full time. During his Senior year the was this Junior girl that came through the theatre department and although she knew from the start that he had a girlfriend, she was just one of those girls that makes you want to mark your territory and watch her every move. And I did. While I did trust him not to do anything, I wouldn’t trust her any farther than I could throw her, and couldn’t trust her not to simply throw herself at him, because he was still only 18. She tried to be my friend, and pretend there was nothing between them, and I went along treating her as I would any friend and watching her very closely, knowing that she would screw up. And a few months later, in the spring, Blake and I hit a rough spot (through a mistake of my own), and sure enough there she was smack in the middle of the metaphorical rubble, as the dust fell. She seemed a little destroyed when shortly there after, as Blake and I fixed things and got back together, leaving her all alone, I don’t think she realized that she never stood a chance.
This last year has been very difficult for us, but more for me than Blake, it seems. Last fall he went away to college, and while I fully support his education and everything, it would’ve been nice if he hadn’t chosen a school 850 miles (13 driving hours) away or at the very least consulted me and gotten my opinion. But he did and I let him go, with tears in my eyes, that time and every time he has come home and then had to go back. With the college battles, brought parties and alcohol and obligations to his new fraternity. We struggled with his lack of communication and foresight. I lectured him about being careful about how much he drank, after he went to the wrong dorm his first night there, seeing as he was a lot farther from home than most of his brand new friends, and seeing that he probably should be careful about trusting these new people with his life, as is consequence when you drink that much. His fraternity, while certainly not as bad as it could’ve been, did not have the impact on him that he needed this year. If only I knew then what I know now, I would not have encouraged it so early in his college career. But as a result I now have to live with the fact that the fraternity I chose for him, has now bumped me and taken a higher spot in his list of priorities. A little later in the school year, just before thanksgiving break, we had a large problem of him doing things he shouldn’t while drunk. Examples being smoking, drinking things that he doesn’t know what they are, and making out with other girls, none of which he would intentionally do if he had been sober. But then after he realized that he had fucked up, he still wasn’t smart enough to fess up about it, clearly not thinking that I would know or find out. Understandably it really did not go over well, and resulted in me screaming at him while he battled a hangover, but I’m very sure that he learned his lesson, but regardless this is the only time that I will forgive him. If he screws up like this again, we’re done, no matter how sorry he is and no matter how much I love him, he only gets one mistake, which he knows. The second semester went smoother than the first, and he fared a little better an various area of his life.
Now our summer is quickly coming to an end with only 14 days left before he leaves for school again. And let me tell you all, I am not ready to be apart from him for that long again. But I guess I will never really be ready to let him walk away from me, no matter the circumstances.